Philosopher

“…

Oh, he’s so dumb. He doesn’t know

…”

(Just imagine that a group of people, especially a group of girls are laughing about it”)

They should’ve made sure that I wasn’t around for it really hurt me when I heard their voices.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to remember everything that occurs in a dream but the important instances just stick to the brain and they never fade away.

It all started when I was young. Probably about ten years ago, the world just started to behave in a different way. Things started to change. Motivators and people who encourage became critical in a flash. I could see people rushing with angry faces, showing that they have no time for recreation. People of my age had taken things seriously and seemed to work on it, to get better. I was just happy with what I was doing.

Ten years ago, I was ten years old.

Whenever I said “Mother, tell Father that I need the toy which we saw in the store yesterday” my mother used to reply that she’d talk about it with my Father. Months later, I’d either play with the toy we saw in the store back then or just forget about it. We weren’t rich. But the thing is that I didn’t speak to my father the way I spoke to my mother in the first half of my life. I had to communicate through a mediator. He was dominant, just like all the other men in all the other homes. I was scared to talk, to him above all.

“He’s a bit shy. He doesn’t talk to people he hasn’t seen.” Well done, Parents and close relatives. You guys have been really supportive!

That is a regular dialogue that still sticks when I’m around them. Perhaps, they didn’t know that I don’t like to talk to people who don’t matter to me. I only talk when I think that’s necessary.

They weren’t as bad as mentioned. They’ve always appreciated me for the talent I have in me. Well, that’s what they say. “Wow, you draw really well. You’re really very talented”.

Yeah, I always wanted attention and I’d do all the things that could drag your attention towards me.

In the later stages of my life, I was driving myself towards impressing people of the opposite sex. Okay, females. I’m sorry. I found that to be more adventurous and hard to achieve. I learnt to write in cursive and I improved my drawing skills. But what I couldn’t improvise is my basic vocabulary of English! I used to make a lot of mistakes during my speech and I’d hear a burst of laughter as an appraisal. It’s funny now but back then, it was an embarrassment that I couldn’t handle.

“Oh, he’s so dumb. He doesn’t know English! What an idiot!” Yeah, imagine that a group of girls are laughing at me.

I’m a hundred times better now. Well, they aren’t here to see me anymore. They’re busy with their lives, laughing at other people and clicking pictures of fast food everyday.

Make fun of me that I’m bad at something. I’ll always prove you wrong.

Okay, I’m not that serious. I admit it.

As I entered adolescence, I started to lose respect for people who were close to me. I’d go away and answer back, often sarcastically – whenever my parents had to tell something to me about the things I did. I used to shout at the top of my voice whenever something wasn’t in my favour. I literally broke things and behaved as if I was out of control. In fact, I was out of control. Maybe that’s the case of most of the people of this particular age-group but I regret whatever I’d done. I’m still figuring things out. Improvisation can happen at all times.

To talk about something that happened in the recent past, I had fallen in love! That’s not something that most of the people like to share, with other people. Maybe you could notice the things that I did back then. If you didn’t, thank God!

It didn’t end up well, we had to move on for I didn’t seem to be matured enough. I just told “I love you” rather than listening what the other person told me. Well, I told that repeatedly, enough for that person to lose interest in me. I just laughed and tried to make them feel much more better than they actually were as I was worried about their problems and the hardships they faced.

We need people who can actually listen to what we say. Not an idiot who cracks a lame joke on it, laughing it off, all by himself.

I thought that I’d live the rest of my life as a drunkard and a drug-addict as a result of a heartbreak. But no. Life has its own way of sorting things out and teaching stuff to people like us. I turned out to be a serious person. I don’t see things like the way I did before. It’s like I’m in a totally different phase of my life. Things around me are changing. People are and so should I. It’s good to move on, in life.

Welcome to Phase Two.

I’m short, dusky and a bit overimaginative but I’m a superhero – for myself. Oh, that was dramatic. That’s totally inappropriate! Why did I say that? Well, attention is all I need.

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Avowal:

The characters that you came across, if any isn’t fictional and people who know me and think that they can relate with a specific character in the story might be the character themselves. “I don’t intend to hurt you” – I can’t say that here. I can’t help it. It’s purely intentional. Truth isn’t sweet enough, isn’t it?

Also, the title is inappropriate. I just had to choose it for it seemed to be catchy.

(I just hope that my parents and relatives don’t read this)

Autobiographies are boring. Well, the joke is on me.

Thank you.

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Wait, what? Is this an autobiography?

No questions please.