Blemished

My fond memories are still with me

And I believe that they’ll stay

Because that’s what I want

At the end of the day.

I still hear the voices that tell me

To stop thinking about the past

But I don’t think that I listen to them

Because I keep revisiting the place

Like it’s my home and that’s where

I’m supposed to be.

To be honest, nothing has changed

After everything that has happened

But I tell myself to keep trying

For this isn’t the end of everything.

I see nothing but the sea that is

Ahead of me and I don’t feel that

I deserve anything better than this

For I am already used to it.

I’m ready to go

Far away from whatever that

Makes me feel better

But I hear someone calling my name

And when I turn around

There’s nobody out there.

I’m uncertain about my own senses.

I neither have the desire to stay

Nor I have the strength to leave

And I have no clue as to what

I want out of all of this.

Nevertheless,

I walked towards the sea

Thinking about something that

I wanted to do for a while.

Just like how other people write

Names of the ones that they love

I wrote her name on the seashore

And moments later, it vanished

Like it was never there before.

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39 thoughts on “Blemished

  1. Ohh, this is so intense and heartbreaking. 🙁 Love the way you’ve penned this one. Also, in some other post, I remember commenting ‘go with the sea’ or something, is this the continuation of that? Couldn’t imagine you could interpret it this way. 😬 This is depressing. Keep the faith, Pavan! Everything will get better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, it doesn’t go away as far as I know. You can’t forget it either. It’s like it’s meant to stay and haunt you for the rest of your life. There are songs that remind me of the memories that I have had in the past. But it did erase that name that was written at the seashore, to convey that it’s all over now. I don’t expect things to be perfect but I just hope that things don’t turn out to be a disaster.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful writing dear Pavan..may you shine like Pavan (sun) and in your light, let the shadows of past fade away and you enjoy the present life moment by moment beautifully..wish you blissful moments ahead 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh dear, thanks for correcting me. Yes Pavan means air. Maybe coz I was thinking of light, it felt to me as sun..stay happy and shine in your light 😊 and like the wind, blow away the clouds of sadness

        Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s always something that never fails to deliver, something good or bad. The past. There’s an outcome to whatever we do and it’s totally undeniable. But to accept what the past brings us takes much more than bravery and the will to stand against the negatives.
      Thank you so much for stopping by, Sann. I’m glad that you liked reading the post.

      Liked by 1 person

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