“It doesn’t matter if you don’t help me when I’m not doing well. I just want you to be there with me when I’m not doing well.”
– said someone who was not able to think clearly about a nice beginning to a story.
I had met a lot of people already. I had made two friends. Everything was new and interesting. My haircut was fine. Nothing was new about it. But still, most of them laughed when I entered my class the very first time.
Okay. We’re talking about the first day at college.
I saw this person who had walked out of the college from the interview that had happened one week ago sitting among other students in my class. He was very tall. He probably had a beard on his face. He has one now. He is still taller than me. Wait. Everybody is taller than me. No. Most of them are taller than me.
I was afraid to talk to this bearded boy who was sitting next to me. He probably had a stubble. I’m currently not able to remember that. I thought boys with some beard on their face are arrogant and dominating. Eventually, he proved me wrong!
There was another person who radiated positivity whenever I was around him. He must’ve been doing that since a very long time. But most importantly, he had a decent haircut. I wanted to be his friend as soon as we spoke to each other.
Probably one week after the commencement of the course that I had chosen, I met this person who eventually became my friend. He’s probably the protagonist of this story. I don’t know that yet.
Days passed and unknowingly, I grew jealous of him. He had perfect hair. He had long, wavy and uncombed hair. He had the spectacles that I used to dream about once in a while.
I didn’t want this person to steal the girls I liked very much. Well, I just had crushes on two of them simultaneously. I never used to think about this person when I thought about the girls. I used to think about what he’d do in the future when I used to converse with him. I don’t want to believe myself right now.
Okay. There are a lot of people here. So, I’m going to make it easier by assigning weird names to each one of them.
The tall guy will be called “Beard”. The person with a decent haircut will be “Decent”. The boy who has good hair will now be called “Good Hair”. How weird is that?
As we journeyed together, I wanted to detach myself from the group. I wanted to become an extrovert by not sticking to one group. So, I used to run out of my class during lunch and sit somewhere all by myself, trying to make new friends. I didn’t know what kind of a person I was. I couldn’t define myself as an introvert. I just wanted something new. Maybe new friends.
“Don’t you have anyone else to talk to other than the three of them?”
I blame this sentence and the person who said that to me back then. That was the reason for me to run away once or twice every month from the three of them. Nobody knew this. Not even the person who told me that.
Beard started to do that after I stopped doing that. I was stupid. This person was trying to be a better one. But I still doubt if this person had the same intention. He’ll probably prove me wrong once again.
One fine day, we went to a restaurant that sold liquor. Okay. Now, I wish that I could rephrase what I just said. Yes. We all went to drink. Decent and I don’t drink. The other two boys and the three girls who accompanied us had considerable amount of experience in drinking.
The two of us stuck to the “sides” and the five of them had started off with their liquor. After sometime, the girl that I disliked started to act weird. She started to throw lemons at me! I was only concerned about the girl I had a crush on. So, I remained quiet and didn’t start to fight. I was quite jealous of the other girl and Good Hair. I didn’t have a crush on her because I always doubted that Good Hair likes her.
I started to snort the salt that was placed on the table where we were seated! Eventually, I got furious and I couldn’t control myself for no valid reason. That was my first experience at a restaurant that sold liquor. Everything had suddenly become new to me.
As we walked back home, I talked rudely to the girl that I didn’t have a crush on. I just went back home and considered ending my friendship with Good Hair. I thought that he would be a bad influence if we stayed together for a longer time.
We probably didn’t speak for one whole month until the time when we, without the presence of Decent, started to head back home from the pizzeria that was located near our college.
We waved our hands at each other and said “Bye!”
Later on, the squad underwent a lot of pressure and misunderstandings. It was very hard to find the four of us together, at one place. Beard would stop speaking to Good Hair and vice versa. I would start acting weird. Someone else would start after I stopped. That was routine. We weren’t there for each other during tough times. Well, I mean, all of us, together. It was hard for one to explain the situation.
I started to feel lonely. I started to post “Status Updates” on WhatsApp. Every single status update was different from the other. I used to rant relentlessly. I often wrote short stories. Most of them were funny. But most of the people who used to read could hardly understand what was written.
The three of them would read them all. I continued doing so until I found an app that could contain all of my writings and drawings. That’s where the blogging started.
After getting used to it, I wrote a poem that didn’t have a rhyming scheme. That was probably my first attempt at writing such a thing. I was flustered. I wanted someone to read it. I felt the urge to show what I had written to Good Hair.
He said “Wow! You’re the best writer I’ve ever come across. You’re awesome. You’re the best.”
No. He didn’t say that!
Whatever he actually said meant a lot to me and I really felt good about it.
It was emotional!
Everything was coming to an end. Not for everyone. But for me, it did. I was undergoing heartbreak. Someone had broken my heart and I didn’t have a shoulder to cry upon. The squad was somehow disbanded. Beard had some issues with Good Hair. Decent was innocent. He never had issues. He worked hard to manage his three weird, domestic monkeys. But the group was dead. The bond wasn’t good enough anymore.
Without second thoughts, I went to Good Hair. He understood whatever I said to him. He brought me out of a very difficult situation. I really wonder where I’d go and what I’d do if he wasn’t there for me.
If you weren’t there for me and
If we weren’t there for each other,
I wonder what we’d do and
Where we’d go.
I don’t think that we can ever
Come up with an answer because
We’ll not even try. I know.
Also, I remember calling him when I had lost my phone. I thought about him when I had lost it. I wanted to inform him about my phone that was stolen.
He was there.
“ಲೋ, ನನ್ ಫೋನ್ ಕಳ್ದ್ಹೋಯ್ತು ಕಣೋ!”